Emotional Responses to Breast Cancer - Understanding the One You Love

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Did you know that each year, 182,000 women are diagnosed with breast cancer and 43,300 die? One woman in eight either has or will develop breast cancer in her lifetime. In addition, 1,600 men will be diagnosed with breast cancer and 400 will die this year.

The above statistics are scary to say the least. If you have loved ones or friends that have been diagnosed with breast cancer, I am sure you've often wondered what, if anything, you can do to help them.

Here are some gifts that are appropriate for cancer patients, and their families to give encouragement, and support.

Probably one of the most important gifts you can offer, is the gift of your time: time to listen, and time to be with them as they accept the fact that they have cancer, and go through their treatment.

A small journal is another idea: they can put on paper their thoughts, their struggles, and their accomplishments as they fight this battle.

A book of inspiring, encouraging words will do wonders for their soul. One suggestion would be Chicken Soup for the Surviving Soul: 101 Stories of Courage and Inspiration from Those Who Have Survived Cancer.

Don't forget a nice teddy bear they can hug, and a CD of soft, comforting, music.

Some cancer patients develop sensitivity to fragrance, so please stay away from scented items.

Again, remember that at times, all they need is to have someone to talk to, or hold their hand: be there for them!

Need to See a Calender?

The American Cancer Society and National Cancer Institute recommend that women over the age of 40 receive an annual mammogram, regardless of risk group. Mammogram, ultrasound, and breast self-exam represent a good first step in proper breast health, as they screen for abnormalities in the breast tissue. Breast biopsies, increasingly common, are performed as a follow-up when certain areas, usually a lesion, look suspicious on these check-ups.
Stereotactic core biopsy is the latest arrival to the diagnostic scene, helping to reinforce one of the tenets of the oncology field: early detection increases the chances of a cure.
New facts: Stereotactic core biopsy has been praised by many radiologists for its accuracy, time-saving advantage, and lower patient irradiation. This technique is currently challenging the standard in biopsy procedures, as many physicians opt to use stereotactic core biopsy over the surgical biopsy of nonpalpable breast lesions.

Emotional Responses to Breast Cancer - Understanding the One You Love

Being diagnosed with breast cancer is a life-changing event. A torrent of feelings wash over the survivor. Suddenly, the world feels like an unsafe place. Little things seem unimportant to the survivor. And the big things, like life, seem tenuous. Knowing the emotional responses she is experiencing will help friends, family and fellow survivors support and nurture her, and each other. She needs to be encouraged to fully feel and express each of her feelings.
The most helpful thing you can do is "just stand there" while she goes through the range of emotions. Often we try to "fix" or stop the flow of feelings so we don't experience the pain and discomfort. But transformation and healing occur when feelings are felt and honored, not when they are repressed or denied.
Here are some emotions you might witness:
1. Shock and Disbelief
"There must be some mistake. It can't be happening to me! I'm healthy. I take care of myself!" Disbelief is one of the most prevalent first emotional responses.
2. Overwhelm
Breast cancer survivors are faced with many critical decisions. Often there is a time pressure to make treatment decisions. It helps to have support with research about traditional, alternative and complementary treatment options.
3. Fear
"Am I going to die? Will I be disfigured? Will you still love me? Will I love myself?" These are the major questions hovering in the dark recesses of the survivor's mind. It helps tremendously to bring them up for discussion.
4. Worry
"How sick will I be? Who will take care of the children? How will I deal with loss of income? Will I lose my job?" Once the first wave of personal survival questions are dealt with, these questions wear on the survivor's mind.
5. Anger
"Why me? I don't deserve this! I don't have time or money to deal with this!" Anger, if not expressed, is the most insidious of all emotions. In itself, repressed anger can create disease. Having a healthy outlet for these feelings needs to be part of the breast cancer patient's treatment program.
6. Resentment
" I'm not the one this should be happening to! I eat well, exercise, get mammograms, take vitamins! Why should I have to suffer with this disease!" Often there is no logical explanation for the onset of cancer. It's natural that feelings of resentment may arise.
7. Loneliness
"No one ever is here for me. I'm all alone. I have no friends I can count on. I feel so alone!" Even when family and friends are around to help, often survivors feel isolated and alone. They are unable to ask for the help they want and need.
8. Sadness
Sadness prevails when any loss is imminent. Tears may flow profusely as the loss of precious body parts is contemplated. The thought of further illness from chemo treatments may seem unbearable. She needs gentle comfort and frequent reassurance.
9. Misunderstood
She may feel that nobody is listening or really understands her. In actuality, no one else can really understand what she is going through. Every person's experience is unique. Honor her and her uniqueness. Give her space to express her feelings and thoughts.
10. Hopefulness
Seen as a learning opportunity, the breast cancer experience could create a feeling of hope for an entirely new and different life, one filled with passion, fulfillment, joy and love. Knowing that life is ongoing, and only the body dies, can give great comfort during this otherwise stressful time.
Copyright 2005 Dr. Talia Miller - The Breast Cancer Recovery Coach
Dr. Talia Miller, sought after breast cancer coach, author and trainer is a long-term breast cancer thriver. Her passion is to coach breast Cancer survivors so they can THRIVE! Contact her at t@BreastCancerCoach.com, or visit her website to arrange for a complimentary consultation.
She is the founding director of the Breast Cancer Support Center, a 501c3 non-profit specializing in utilizing the body-mind-spirit connection, and the outstanding healing program, "From Survivor to Thriver ─ The Breakthrough Program for Beating Breast Cancer?". The Center offers free educational seminars by PHONE on prevention and avoiding recurrence. Email Director@BreastCancerSupportCenter.org to register. Also available, personal retreats in Grass Valley, CA to help survivors become thrivers.

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